I recently received on the email trail a photo of a billboard of a Filipino business offering “Paki” services – or running errands at a price. It highlighted the Filipino ingenuity. It amused me no end and it definitely tickled my grey matter.
“Paki” is the Filipino word that literally translates to “Please”. However, the word paki goes beyond its meaning and has far reaching social ramifications and consequences. It encapsulates a culture of asking for favours, which seems engrained in us.
A paki is softly uttered at the beginning of a sentence as a warning of a request or a favour to follow. Attached to it is the presumption that the person to whom it is directed will oblige. It is usually said in a sing-song fashion, accompanied with a one-sided slight head, or the lowering of the head and eyelids. Initially, it is usually followed by “…puwede ba?”. If not instantly gratified, the supplication process is repeated and preceded with “sige na…paki” to stress the urgency of the matter. The unrelenting paki-ologist (person asking the favour) grovels to the point that the paki-giver feels guilty , exhausted (or deaf) and is left with no other recourse than to eventually give in. Refusal to grant a paki is often taken as offensive, hurtful, and a snub, which may even result to being ostracized from the community.
There’s a whole range of pakis from the simple to the complex; from the sublime to the amusingly ridiculous. For every verb, there is a corresponding paki. There is the simple sharing of information pakis; there are those pakis which may require time and effort. There is paki-bili (please buy), paki-kuha (please get), paki-dala (please bring), paki-sulat (please write); paki-gawa (please make or do); and the list goes on. Pakis have no time limits. It may take a minute or two as when someone asks for a phone number or it may take countless hours. But hey, who’s counting and definitely not the paki-ologist. It may start with a one-off paki which leads to a series of pakis and you suddenly wake up one day, part of a project you had no intention of being a part of, with no way out.
One of the most common paki is the paki-dala to and from the Philippines which I have no doubt most have experienced. Perhaps this paki has survived because the Philippines postal service is unreliable or there is a longing for an added insight into the recipient. Balikbayan services may forward parcels/gifts efficiently but it fails to give a personal snapshot. With paki-dala, we get the extra tidbit of how they looked, their smile; what they said; just a little extra which makes giving so much more pleasurable.
Some pakis require brain crunching. Ouch! That includes talent sharing, i.e. paki-kanta, paki-sayaw; paki-sulat, paki-drawing etc. While it may sound so simple to comply, the thought process involved is complex and time consuming . People asking for these types of favours may be from the S-W-A-T team (sige-walang-alam-talaga!). You may also need to provide this type of paki-ologist with chopsticks to assist them ‘pick-your-brain.’
Some careers are more susceptible to pakis than others and mine definitely seems to be or perhaps, it’s just me. Can you imagine asking a doctor, “Doc, paki-inject naman, o?” Or a lawyer, “paki -gawa mo ako ng affidavit.” I could not imagine having to ask somebody to paki mow my lawn. If I had 10 friends and each one asked me an hour worth of favour, I could end up having a full time paki job or have no friends. Hmmmm, exhausted as I am, the latter is almost a tempting proposition.
Then there are the generational pakis as when someone asked me to ask someone I know for a favour for someone they know. And I didn’t even know the person!! Now, that’s a fourth generation paki!
The question is when is a paki acceptable and when is it over the top? While there is no problem helping, we need to consider the factors – frequency, nature, gravity, and recipient – that turns a paki from genuine assistance to abuse and exploitation. When does it cross the boundary of being ‘okay lang’ to ‘ang kapal mo’?
Filipinos are relatively intelligent, highly educated, and often boast of masters and doctorate degrees. But ‘the paki’ never seems to escape us.
I thought hard about it and I came up with a few reasons. One, while Filipinos are educated, they lack the necessary skills and experience to perform the task at hand with confidence. Two, we’re simply penny-pinchers and there is still the thrill of getting something for nothing. We like champagne on a beer budget, but freebies are better! Thirdly, it may be simply a case of laziness. And lastly, perhaps, somewhere lurking within our souls lies a dormant fear – a lack of confidence which translates to the fear of being embarrassed for asking how? where? and why? Regardless of the reason, our culture of paki simply sums up and points to our lack of self reliance; a refusal to take the responsibility for ourselves. It’s simply easier to ask than to walk the talk, not to mention that it’s cheaper.
Perhaps too, from this lack of self reliance and our culture of pakis, stems the desire to attach to title-holders. Now stir that with the desire for instant results and shortcuts, and presto….we live by the idiom: It’s who you know, not what you know.
Having granted a few pakis in my lifetime, I am comforted and grateful with the thought that I may probably know a few things and that is why they keep asking me. So if I know – may alam ako – does that make me then a primary paki-alamera? Perhaps, one day, I shall live to also say paki.
